Round-up Ranchers Scripts

July 13

Memory Verse: 1 Cor. 12:4-6 4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.
ROUNDUP RANCHERS
Monday Evening July 13 09
"Horsen’ Around"
by David E. and Jane E. Howell

Cowboy Bob(dave), Frank the Cowdog(jay), GooBer Wolfhound(ben), Kramer Cow (drew) and Krosley Cow(austin), Krow(mike), Mumbles Mule(sam), Thunderbottom(jane)

After Denise’s intro.

Cowboy Bob: (searching) I got my saddle and I got my spurs and I got my ten gallon cowboy hat... now if I could just find that horse of mine? (sees Denise) Yo there, cowgirl, How in the Wild West are you?... Have you seen that mangy mare Thunderbottom around here anywhere?

Denise: (looks around) Narry a sign of that cayouse, Cowboy Bob. (to kids) Hey pardners, can you all help Cowboy Bob out here. Look around and see if you can see a big brown horse anywheres.

Frank the Cowdog: (yawns and stretches) Ruff Ruff... I know this is hard to believe, but, I thought I heard a horse snoring by Goober’s dog house and I’d bet my lucky possum carcass Goober slept in the stable last night. Anyway, I’m sure that nag can be found. I mean, no matter where you go, there you are. Mumbles, have you seen Thunderbottom?

Mumbles Mule: (Mumbles sort of like words)-> [ya know ya can’t see with your eyes closed]

Frank the Cowdog: (toward Krow) Krow, what did Mumbles the Mule just say?

Krow: He says he hasn’t seen him all morning because his eyes have been closed.

Cowboy Bob: (toward Crow) Well, tell him to open his eyes and help me find that horse. Or I’ll have to ride that mule way out there to the south pasture to round up those ornery cows.

Cows: (mooing in the distance)
Kramer: Well, somebody better come out here and get us.
Krosley: That’s right, you tell’m Kramer.
Kramer: I’m not in the Moooo’d for hoofin it all the way back to the barn by myself.
Krosley: (laughs) Remember the last time we tried to find our way back by ourselves we ended up at a square dance over in Tulsa?
Kramer: You know what Cowboy Bob would say? ‘Every trail has puddles.’

Goober: (whinnies and appears with the bridle in his mouth) Yuck, this thing tastes like moldy grass. Hey boss, (spitting) You ready to ride?

Cowboy Bob: (laughing) Wale... Goober, sure you are about as big as a horse, but you ain’t near strong enough to wear a saddle... with me on it... and then gallupin’ fer miles roundin’ up a big herd of cattle. Your job is to guard the ranch and keep the wolves out of the chicken yard.
Krow: Hey boss. I hate to interrupt... well no, actually I kinda like interrupting... Anyway, I think you better go see what’s goin down over in the chicken yard. There’s trouble, Oh Boy!

Cowboy Bob: Now Krow, don’t go sittin on your spurs. It’s Goober’s job is to protect the chickens... And we know that he can be trusted to do a good jo... Wait just a whip-dog minute. Goober’s right here. Goober?

Goober: (downcast) But boss, Thunderbottom traded jobs with me. I was goin to round up the doggies and he’s over by the chicken coop protectn’ all them noisy hens right now.

Cowboy Bob: A horse... guardin’ a chicken coop? Waal, that beats anything I ever helt, felt or smelt! Goober, you get over there and tell Thunderbottom to get over here so we can go round up those stray cattle out there in the south 40. We got to get them in before it gets dark.

Cows: (mooing in the distance)
Kramer: Krosley, you don’t have a flashlight by any chance, do you?
Krosley: Yeah, right, Kramer. And just where would I carry a flashlight. I can’t even carry a tune. (sings off key) Mooooon River...
Kramer: You sure are right about that.
Krosley: (singing out of tune) I’m in the Mooood for looove! (trails off)

(Thunderbottom and Mumbles move toward Cowboy Bob.)
Thunderbottom: Sorry about what happened at the chicken coop, Cowboy Bob.

Cowboy Bob: Sorry about what, Thunderbottom? Mumbles, What happened?

Mumbles Mule: Mumbles. -> [it’s chicken dinner at the chuck wagon tonight]

Frank the cowdog: Krow, what did that mule just say?

Krow: (squawks, laughing) He says he knows what’s cookin’ at the old Chuckwagon tonight. Ha Ha... Chicken dinner that’s what.

Thunderbottom: Sorry Cowboy Bob. I sort of stepped on a couple of chickens while I was trying to save em from what I thought a wolf was attacking. Turns out it was just a shadow. I asked Krow there if he’d give those two flattened chickens beak to beak resusitation, and see if he could revive them, but he wouldn’t stop laughin long enough to even give it a try.

Cowboy Bob: (laughing) It’s all right, Thunderbottom. Just don’t try protecting the hen house again. Unless, of course, we need a couple more chickens for dinner sometime.

Frank the Cowdog: Waal now, every one. I hope you all learned an important lesson today. We’re all different, with different abilities, and we’ve all got our different jobs to do on this here ranch. Everyone’s job is important for this whole ranch to be run real good. Everybody got that?

ALL:(even the cows): You bet your bisquits and beans we do!

Cowboy Bob: All right, Thunderbottom, let’s get that saddle on and go round up them doggies! Wahoo!

July 14

Memory Verse: Eph. 6:14-17 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
ROUND-UP RANCHERS
Tuesday Evening July 14, 09
"What Do I Wear?"
by David E. and Jane E. Howell

Puppets: Cowboy Bob(dave), Cowgirl Susie-Sue(jane), Frank the Cowdog(jay), GooBer Wolfhound(ben), cows: Kramer(evan) and Krosley (sam), Krow(mike), Mumbles Mule(dave)

After Denise’s intro.

Cowboy Bob: (sees Denise) Hey, Denise, Yo there. Seems like Im’a always huntin for sumpthin when ever I see y’all. Denise pardner, have you’all seen my niece Susie-Sue yet?

Denise: Howdy, Cowboy Bob. Howdy, Frankie the Cowdog and every one. (to kids) Hey buckeroos, say ‘howdy’ to Cowboy Bob and his ranch hands. (after howdy’s) So, Cowboy Bob, do you mean you’re missing your niece, Susie-Sue?

Cowboy Bob: Waal(searching) It seems so. I got my horse, I got my saddle, I got my spurs, my bandana, my chaps and I got my ten gallon cowboy hat... now if I could just find that thar niece of mine? That’s why I asked if you’ve maybe seen that thar city-gal har-abouts?

Denise: No, Cowboy Bob, (looks around) We haven’t seen her.

Cowboy Bob: Waal, anywho, its great to see you, Denise and all you little pardners here at the ranch. (searching) When we find her, we’ll just have her come say ‘howdy’ to you all. She’s visitin all the way out here from New York City? Me and the ranch hands are a’trainin her to be a cowgirl.

Frank the Cowdog: Ruff Ruff.. Maybe Krow can find that stray gal, boss?

Cowboy Bob: Hey there Frank, Now you’re thinking. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. (to Krow) Krow, ifn you’re not too busy would ya mind scoutin round a bit and see if you can find that thar city gal?

Mumbles Mule: (Mumbles interrupts...sort of like words) (I saw her leave early this morning toward the south pasture on Clodhopper, the old plow horse.

Frank the Cowdog: (toward Krow) Krow, what did Mumbles the Mule just say?

Krow: He said she rode off on Clodhopper, the old plowhorse this morning before sun up..

Goober: (runs in panting) Hey, Cowboy Bob, that niece of yorn is limpin in from the south 40 and she’s a’lookin none too good.



Cows: (mooing in the distance)
Kramer: Krosley, did you see that crazy gal ridin that old plowhorse Clodhopper plum through the bramble thistles?
Krosley: I sure did. Those humans don’t have much of a hide acoverin their bodies. She sure got tore up some.
Kramer: I tried to warn her not to go through there. Why you could a heard me moo’in out a warnin all the way to Texas, but I guess she just don’t understand cow talk.
Krosley: (both cows lowing sadly) You are sure right about that Kramer. The way she was abouncing around on that old plowhorse, you could tell she was new to the range.
Kramer: It do n’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Back to front
Frank the Cowdog: Cowboy Bob, you want me to get Thunderbottom for you so you can ride out there to bring her in?

Cowboy Bob: Hold your horses there, Frank. I see her now comin toward the ranch house.
Hey there gal... Ere you doin alright? You look like you just wrestled a prickly pear cactus and the cactus won!

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: (limps in - clothes torn) Cowboy Bob. If you’ve got a first aid kit some where, I’d like to borrow it for a couple of hours.

Goober: It looks like she could use a pair of pliers to pull out those thorns. Ouch! Makes me want to yelp in pain and I aint even the one that’s a hurtin.’ She sure is takin it well though, wouldn’t you say, boss?

Frank the Cowdog: I know what you mean, Goober. You know the old sayin... You can’t tell how good a man or a watermelon is until they get thumped. And she’s a good one.

Mumbles Mule: (Mumbles sort of like words) Even I could have told her she shouldn’t try to ride through a field of brambles without a good pair of chaps on to protect her.

Frank the Cowdog: (toward Krow) Krow, what did Mumbles the Mule just say?

Krow: He was wonderin why she warn’t wearing chaps when she went out a ridin..

Cowboy Bob: Susie-Sue, you know when you arrived here I showed you where all the cowboy gear was stowed and told you how to wear it.

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: (looks ashamed) I know, Cowboy Bob, I was just going for a little ride and didn’t think I would need it.

Cowboy Bob: Waal, Gal. Out here on the range there are all kinds of dangers and you never know when yore goin to run into one of them. Wearin the right protective gear ain’t just a good idea... It’s more important than just about anything else!

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: I know what you mean now. That old horse shied at a rattlesnake and started galluping through the thorny mesquite brush.

Goober: She warnt wearin her pointy toe cowboy boots neither, boss. If she’d afallin off that horse, her foot might have caught in the stirrup and she’d a been dragged through all them prickly thorns.

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: Ah... Well,. Actually, that’s what happened. I was hanging from the stirrup (sniffles) and thought I was going to die. Thankfully, old Clodhopper stopped moving when I fell off and I was able to climb back on him again.

Frank the Cowdog: That’s a lesson for ya right there, gal. It is not enough for a man to learn how to ride; he must learn how to fall.

Cowboy Bob: Well, anyway, gal, we’re proud of you.

Frank the Cowdog: That’s pretty brave, climbin back up on that horse after you been through all that. And that’s egg zakly what a good cow puncher does.

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: Well, you can be sure I’ll get dressed properly before I go riding off again. I can see now that all of these special clothes are important. I guess you’re right, Cowboy Bob. They don’t do any good if you aren’t wearing them.

Cowboy Bob: Good thinkin’ gal. Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement. If you can learn from yore mistakes you will always be away ahead of the herd. Like my old pappy used to say ‘If you aint the one makin dust, yore eatin it.’

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: (laughs) I hear ya, Cowboy Bob. It won’t happen again. You can bet those big boots of yours on that.

Cowboy Bob: Alright gal. Let’s head for the ranch house and find you a big box of band-aids.
So long Denise. So long pardners. We’ll see you’all hare tomorry about the same time.

July 15

ROUND-UP RANCHERS Wednesday Evening July 15, 09
"Too Many Bosses Spoil the Stew"
by David E. and Jane E. Howell

Puppets: Cowboy Bob(dave), Frank the Cowdog(jay), Cowgirl Susie-Sue(jane), GooBer Wolfhound(ben), Cows; Kramer(evan) and Krosley(sam), Krow(mike), Mumbles Mule(dave), Thunderbottom(jerry) John 14:15 (If you love me, you will keep my commands.)

After Denise’s intro.
Cowboy Bob: (searching) I got my saddle and bridle, got my spurs and my boots, got my chaps and bandana, and I got my ten gallon cowboy hat... now if I could just find that horse of mine? (to Denise) Yo there, cowgirl, How in the Wild West are you?... Have you seen that mangy stallion Thunderbottom around har anywhere?

Denise: (looks around) Narry a sign of that cayouse, Cowboy Bob. (to kids) Hey pardners, can you all help Cowboy Bob out here. Look and see if you can see a big brown horse anywheres.

Frank the Cowdog: (yawns and stretches) Ruff Ruff... Cowboy Bob, Weren’t you and Thunderbottom going to practice roping this morning?

Cowboy Bob: You got that right pardner. Last year at the roundup we missed lassoin’ a few of those mangy dogies and they ran off and nearly got lost in the desert. We wasted a lot of valuable time searchin for them when we had other work that needed done.

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: Morning cowboy Bob. I sure would like to go on the round-up with you this year. Would that be alright? I could ride one of the new mustangs you got back from the rodeo. I’ve ridden Clodhopper five times in a row now with out falling off even once.

Frank the Cowdog: Ruff Ruff... Cowboy Bob, It looks like Thunderbottom isn’t the only horse that’s going to need training.

Cowboy Bob: (laughing) I catch yore drift there dog. Well, Susie-Sue, I spose you could ride that little mustang that’s in the barn. The others in the corral are a little too green for you.

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: Green? I sure don’t want to ride a green horse. And, well, none of my outfits look good with green, that’s for sure. How about that yellow one?

Goober: Boss, that yellow mustang is so wild it could buck a man’s whiskers plumb off. And it’s so mean it snarls in its sleep.

Mumbles Mule: (Mumbles sort of like words)-> [Oh Yeh, Not that yellow one. All those palaminos are dumber than a stick]

Frank the Cowdog: (toward Krow) Krow, what did Mumbles the Mule just say?

Krow: He says not to let her ride the Palamino because Palominos can’t be trained to obey - they’re all too dumb!

Cowboy Bob: (toward Crow) Now that’s not the case at all fellas. Old pappy used to say that ‘a good horse never comes in a bad color.’ The last person that owned him just treated him mean and never trained him right.

Goober: You got that just right, boss. I knew one of the guard dogs really well once that lived on Nasty Nick’s ranch. Nasty Nick mistreated all the animals on his ranch. That dog ended up high-tailin it away from there and ran off to a nearby ranch.

Mumbles Mule: (Mumbles sort of like words)-> [and that dog changed his name to Goober]

Krow: (fusses and crows) Wha... Goober! I thought I remembered seeing you at Nasty Nick’s ranch when you where just a puppy.

Cowboy Bob: Well, we’re not like that on this ranch. Even that yellow mustang will turn around and be a valuable part of the ranch once he learns to trust his trainer. We care about all the animals on this ranch and want what’s best for them, too.

Frank the Cowdog: Ya see, Susie-Sue. Horses aren’t born mean. When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.
Cows: (mooing in the distance)
Kramer: Well, we know that Cowboy Bob takes good care of us.
Krosley: That’s right, he doesn’t mistreat us and moves us to good water and is always moving us to greener pastures..
Kramer: I remember when I was a young calf I fell into a ditch one winter. Cowboy Bob and his horse Thunderbottom pulled me out and carried me to the barn until I was strong and well.
Krosley: (laughs) I’d like to see him carry you back to the barn over his saddle now. Ha!
Kramer: You keep that up and we’ll get to see if he can pull you out of a ditch...
Krosley: Hey... I was just kidding. Help...
(back to farm)
Cowboy Bob: Waal Thunderbottom. There you are. I expected you here early this mornin so we could work on our ropin and ridin skills.

Thunderbottom: Sorry about that boss. When I saw how those mustangs were horsin around instead of getting ready to work, I trotted over to see what the problem was.

Cowboy Bob: Waal Thunderbottom, what did you do?

Thunderbottom: I decided to do a little horse whispering to those Mustangs. I told them to quit gripe’n about having to be trained and pay attention to your instructions. Once they learn to obey, they’ll get to be trained to do the fun work like I do when we go on round-ups.

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: Cowboy Bob, I’ve been thinking. I don’t care what color horse I ride. I’ll trust you to pick which ever horse you think is best for me to ride in the round-up. But I’d really like to have you teach me how to work with that horse properly.

Cowboy Bob: Waal Thunderbottom. I think we found a gal with some real ‘horse sense.’ All right Susie-Sue, come on. We’ll show you how it’s done. Like my old pappy used to say: The best sermons are lived, not preached. (to denise) So long Denise and all you pardners. We’ve got to get back to work here at Round-up Ranch. We’ll see you Buckaroos tomorrow.

July 16

Matt.18:14 ‘In the same way your father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.’
ROUND-UP RANCHERS
Thursday Evening July 16, 09
"Getting Things Squared up for the Round-up"
by David E. and Jane E. Howell

Puppets: Cowboy Bob(dave), Frank the Cowdog(jay), Cowgirl Susie-Sue(jane), GooBer Wolfhound(ben), Cows; Kramer(evan) and Krosley(sam), Krow(mike), Mumbles Mule(dave), Thunderbottom(jerry)

After Denise’s intro.
Cowboy Bob: (searching) I got my saddle and bridle, got my spurs and boots, got my chaps and bandana, and I got my ten gallon cowboy hat, and I finally I got my horse... now if I could just find Cookie? (to Denise) Yo there, cowgirl, How in the Wild West are you?... Have you seen ‘Cookie’ around har anywhere?

Denise: (looks around) Howdy, Cowboy Bob. (to kids) Hey pardners, can you all help Cowboy Bob? It sounds like he’s lost his cookies. Do any of you have any cookies tucked away in yore saddlebags that you could share with Cowboy-Bob?

Frank the Cowdog: (yawns and stretches) Ruff Ruff... Cowboy Bob, somebody somewhere’s got their tongue tangled! You warnt talking about cookies that you eat, were ya? Thars a slew of chocolate chip cookies stored in the Chuckwagon ready for the big roundup.

Cowboy Bob: You got that right thar Frank. I better be a little clearer when I’m jawin. (turns to Denise) Hey there pardner, thanks for askin for the wharabouts of cookies that ya eat, but I was inquirin about our cook who drives the chuckwagon for us on the trail and takes care of fixin all our vittles.

Denise: (laughs) Oh, we understand now, Cowboy Bob. Cookie is what you call the chef, like the person in a restaurant, who prepares the food.

Cowboy Bob: That’s the critter all right. All us cow-punchers leave before sun-up in the mornin and Cookie needs to leave far enough ahead of us so he can get our first meal ready at the crack of noon.

Goober: Hey, Boss. I hear your lookin for Cookie. Cookie took the buckboard and hurried off into town for supplies that just arrived on the train from Santa Fe.

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: Speaking of that, Cowboy Bob. Doesn’t Cookie use Mumbles the Mule to pull his wagon? Mumbles is still here.

Mumbles Mule: (Mumbles)-> I’m still here because I needed to preserve my strength for pulling that heavy loaded chuckwagon.

Frank the Cowdog: (toward Krow) Krow, what did Mumbles the Mule just say?

Krow: Mumbles says Cookie left him behind to rest up because he has such a heavy wagon to pull. ha! Cookies in a hurry... and Mumbles is as slow as molasses in January.
Cows: (start moving mooing loudly in the distance)
Kramer: Krosley, one of the dogies asked me what happens in a round-up. Ya think I should tell’em?
Krosley: Why sure. Let’s give those youngins a heads up so they won’t be scared.
Kramer: Should we even mention the part about the... branding?
Krosley: Well now, I see what you mean. That part can be a little scary. And some calves fight it, but our hides are so thick that it doesn’t really hurt us none.
Kramer: Yeah, and it’s really important that we get the right brand. Havin the right brand means will be claimed by Cowboy Bob when we all arrive at the end of the round-up. That’s when all the cattle are separated out by their owners and taken to their different homes.
Krosley: Yore right, sure as shootin. We sure don’t want Nasty Nick to take any of our youngens to where they don’t belong. Come on. Let’s go spread the word.
(back at the ranch)
Cowgirl Susie-Sue: I’m so pumped about going on this round-up. Do any of you guys have any advice for me?

Thunderbottom: I got some advice for ya there, little lady. When in doubt let your horse do the thinkin. And... if your horse aint wanten to go somewhere, then neither should you.

Mumbles Mule: (Mumbles sort of like words)-> [and never kick a cow pattie on a hot day]

Frank the Cowdog: Krow, did Mumbles just say sumthing about not kicking hot cows?

Krow: (fusses and crows) Ha... He says to never kick a cow pattie on a hot day.

Goober: Susie -Sue, even us dogs know this one... never drink downstream from a horse.

Cowboy Bob: (laughing) There sure is a lot to learn, gal. Let’s see. If yore ridin ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and agin to see if they are still with ya.

Thunderbottom: I got another one for ya . The fastest way to move cattle is slooooowly. And sure you’ll be workin hard, but remember, nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.

Frank the Cowdog: Susie -Sue, just like Cowboy-Bob will be keepin an eye on you, don’t forget those young calves that will trailin along at the back of the herd. Ya know Cowboy-Bob will leave all the cattle in the herd just to find one missing little calf.

Cowboy Bob: (laughing) You sure are right thar, Frank. Susie-Sue, you’re goin to see a lot of the beauty of God’s creation on this round-up. Sparklin stars in the night sky, sunsets that’ll make yore eyes water, and trees and flowers on the range of every color and fragrance. We can worship God smack dab in the middle of the round-up. Be careful, but you enjoy yourself too.

Cowgirl Susie-Sue: Thanks for the advice everyone. I’m going to go check on my horse and make sure I have every piece of my gear.

Cowboy Bob: (to denise) Waal Denise and all you buckaroos. We’ve sure loved haven you’all har at the round-up ranch. Until we meet again...

(All together) "Happy trails to you until we meet again!"